


let’s talk about love (i’m talking about you)

by adoregyu



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Sunghoon, and bad at feelings & communication, idk they’re both oblivious i guess, irdk how to tag help, just a little, overuse of the word ‘kiss’ and ‘lips’ lmao, rated T for kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28050891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoregyu/pseuds/adoregyu
Summary: It starts off as an idle daydream, but then Sunghoon gets a taste and he finds himself coming back for more.Alternative title: Sunghoon really, really wants to kiss Jake.
Relationships: Park Sunghoon & Shim Jaeyoon | Jake, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 55
Kudos: 305





	1. Chapter 1

If Sunghoon is asked to describe himself with one word, he’d go with curious. Don’t be fooled with his looks, he actually has a million different questions running through his head. He just doesn’t like to voice them out and prefers to keep them to himself or find the answers on his own. He was curious about figure skating, about how someone can stand on a single blade and move with grace. Of course, he was also curious about performing on stage, about dancing his heart out and writing lyrics and producing his own songs. And when Park Sunghoon is curious, he’s also determined.

Shim Jaeyoon came into his life, and now he has one more thing he’s curious about.

He introduced himself as Jake. The other participants were even talking about him before he actually arrived. ‘The Aussie Guy’, they called him, wondering how he’d look like, and if he could speak Korean or not. At first, Sunghoon wasn’t all that interested. The guy came from overseas, so what? But then he saw him and— oh.

He can’t exactly pinpoint why, but to him, Jake looks soft. Like running his hand through the finest silk, or wrapping a fluffy warm blanket around himself. He also reminds Sunghoon of warmth, of going home after a long, hard day. Of comfort and safe spaces.

And thus, Sunghoon begins to wonder.

In the early hours of the day, he would see Jake with his puffy eyes and mussed up hair, walking around with his eyes half-closed and all Sunghoon can think about is how it would feel to place a kiss on Jake’s cheek. To scoop him into his arms and leave butterfly kisses all over his face until he fully wakes up. 

When such thoughts invade his head, he would reassure himself that it’s normal. That his mindless dreaming is somewhat justifiable because Jake is adorable, and when you see something (or someone who’s) cute, you can’t help but want to kiss it (them).

Right?

That’s debatable, actually, because these days, Sunghoon finds his eyes landing on Jake’s lips more often than he likes to admit. But can you really blame him? The guy likes to bite his lips. His red, plump lips. And it doesn’t help that he looks like the perfect combination of hot and pretty, either. He can’t use the it’s-just-because-he’s-cute argument against himself anymore, because he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to make out with fluffy plushies, no matter how adorable they look. 

And one more thing, Sunghoon is not the type to lose his cool, yet Jake is making him want to repeatedly bang his head against the wall by simply being there and breathing.

They have a schedule that afternoon, so they have to wake up early in the morning. Sunghoon’s consciousness is still floating around in midair when something cold touches his cheek and he jumps, almost bouncing off of the living room sofa. 

“The fu—“ he almost cusses but stops himself and looks up to see Jake holding out a cold bottle of what looks like coffee.

“Hazelnut latte,” Jake says. 

“What?”

“For you. Hazelnut latte,” he repeats, and Sunghoon takes two seconds to process that information before taking the latte into his hand.

“Oh, thank God,” he replies, grateful that he can have his dose of caffein early in the morning. They ran out of coffee yesterday, and the fact Jake miraculously had a bottled latte with him puts a big smile on his face. 

“It’s Jake.” He plops down to sit beside Sunghoon and takes a sip of his milk. “And you’re welcome.”

He chooses to ignore Jake’s joke and asks instead, “When did you get this?” 

“This morning. Woke up too early and went to the convenience store nearby to buy some snacks with Sunoo.” Jake grabs the remote control for the TV and turns it on, going through the channels to find something worth watching.

Sunghoon twists the bottle cap open and gulps the sweet, cold latte down, satisfied to know that in a matter of minutes, he’d feel more mentally put together with a boost of energy. He cranes his neck to see Jake beside him, lips pursed around the straw of his drink and Sunghoon’s brain short-circuited. 

“I could kiss you right now.” The words tumble out of his lips before he could even process them, and all Sunghoon wants to do at the moment is to disappear, preferably forever.

Jake’s eyebrows climb up and he chuckles. “Don’t be dramatic,” he punches Sunghoon’s shoulder lightly. “It’s just latte, dude.”

He doesn’t know whether to be grateful or disappointed that Jake took his words as a joke, but right as he’s about to retort, Jay enters the living room. “It’s morning and someone said he wants to kiss someone already,” he groans.

“Were you eavesdropping?” Jake throws a small pillow to him, which Jay dodges like a pro, and lies down on the sofa next to Jake.

“I wasn’t. It’s quiet as hell here in the morning, and I have supersonic hearing. By the way, where’s my drink?” Jay pats Jake’s thigh and Jake offers him his half-drunk milk, which Jay happily accepts. Sunghoon ignores the twinge of jealousy when he sees Jay drinking from the same straw. Doesn’t that count as an indirect kiss? Does that mean that Jake is okay with kissing Jay?

“It’s could, not want,” Jake says to Jay.

“Huh?”

“Sunghoon said he could kiss me, not that he wants to kiss me,” Jake elaborates, and Jay’s lips curl into an annoying smirk that Sunghoon contemplates throwing another pillow to his friend’s face.

“Did he now?” There’s an obnoxious lilt in Jay’s voice and Sunghoon is torn between mortification and irritation. “And will you let Sunghoon kiss you?”

Jake shrugs, and what he says next creates chaos within Sunghoon’s mind, body, and soul. “Sure. Why not?”

“Sunghoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you listening?”

Now, that’s a question he can’t answer. He would be lying if he says that he is, but he doesn’t want to upset Jake either. “Uh... kinda?”

“Figures. You zoned out halfway,” Jake huffs, putting his makeup cleanser back where it belongs on the cabinet. The makeup room is quiet with just the two of them, and without the other members’ loud chatters, Sunghoon easily slips into his daydreams. “Is there something on your mind?”

Your lips. Your stupid lips, Sunghoon wants to say, but refrains himself from doing so. “Nothing,” he lies instead.

“Really? You were...” Jake seems hesitant to continue, but Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow and Jake says, “staring at my lips.”

So Jake realizes that he’s been staring at his lips. Is that a bad thing or a good thing? Sunghoon doesn’t know. He can’t even think straight at the moment, really. What he wants to do right now is to find out how it feels like, to be kissing Jake. “Ah,” he says. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t say sorry. I mean, are you... have you had? Um, that? Are you curious about it?” The sight of Jake stumbling over his words and looking at anything except Sunghoon must be God’s way of testing his patience, because all he needs is one more push and he’ll explode. 

“About what?” He asks, throwing the ball to Jake’s court.

“You know.” Jake then bites his lower lip in nervousness and Sunghoon is gone. “Kissing. Stuff like that. Is that why you’ve been staring at my lips? Or is there something on them?”

“Yeah,” Sunghoon finally admits, his chest is about to combust with want. He doesn’t know how his voice manages to stay even. “I’ve been thinking about kissing you.”

Taking his statement as a joke yet again, Jake cackles, a cheeky smile painted over his features. “Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad,” he teases, and that’s Sunghoon’s final straw. He’s not one to act on impulses, but the desire has been building up, forming a ticking time-bomb within him.

He doesn’t miss the surprised look on Jake’s face when he leans closer, nose bumping against the other’s as he pleads, “Please. Please push me away if you don’t want me to kiss you.”

The Brunet’s eyes are wide for a moment before he finally closes them, and Sunghoon takes it as a green light. The gap between them disappears when Sunghoon leans in, barely pressing his lips against Jake’s plump ones and oh. So this is how it feels like, he thinks. It should be enough, right? All he has to do right now is pull away because his curiosity has been fed. He’s found his answer: that Jake’s lips is probably the softest one he’s kissed. Not that he’s kissed a lot of people. 

But it turns out that his body has a mind of its own.

Instead of breaking the kiss, Sunghoon wraps his arm around Jake’s waist to bring him closer, one hand creeping up to cup Jake’s jaw while he angles his head to deepen their kiss. Jake’s cherry lips are as plush as they look and Sunghoon is hooked in a blink of an eye, capturing Jake’s bottom lip between his and nibbles lightly, earning a whine from the shorter. He can feel Jake fisting the front of his shirt as the air around them gets hotter and heavier, as he chases after Jake’s lips over and over again. Jake tastes like a mixture vanilla lip balm and grape soda, and Sunghoon’s head is spinning with need. 

“Sunghoon.” Jake finally pushes him away gently, replenishing his oxygen supply. Sunghoon also finds himself taking a big breath in. He had forgotten to breathe while he was kissing Jake. “Why... why did you kiss me?”

Sunghoon blinks. He hadn’t thought about it much, why he was so curious about kissing Jake. He assumes it’s because he finds Jake’s incredibly attractive. No, attractive is probably an understatement. Enthralling is more fitting, Sunghoon thinks. Also, Jake is extremely endearing that he wants to keep him in his pocket sometimes and shield him from all the bad things in the world. “Because I want to,” he retorts and cringes at how he sounds like an ass.

“Because you want to?” Jake tilts his head to the side a little, and Sunghoon’s resolve to let go of Jake crumbles. 

“I just want to kiss you,” he sighs, bringing their faces closer again, the ghost of a kiss lingering upon their lips. “Why did you let me?”

“Because I wanted to,” Jake answers simply. 

Little does he know, it’s about to get complicated from then on.


	2. Chapter 2

It becomes something that Sunghoon needs to do every day, or he'd go to sleep with a restless mind.

For the most part, Sunghoon is glad that it didn't take a wrong turn and Jake is completely okay with it. He'd let Sunghoon steal kisses from him whenever the members are not looking or when they're alone together, not questioning his friend's action anymore. But then there are times where Jake looks forlorn after they kissed, and his heart will sting. He had asked Jake about it, if he's okay with the whole thing and that Sunghoon will stop if he doesn't like it, but Jake shook his head and said, "No, it's fine. It's just kissing."

Sunghoon had scrunched his eyebrows at his response. What Jake said was basically the truth, so what was that bitter taste on the tip of his tongue? 

"Sunghoon Hyung," Jungwon calls him, and Sunghoon looks up from his bowl of cereal. "Can you wake Jake Hyung up, please?"

He nods, rising wordlessly from his chair and making his way to their shared bedroom. He spots Jake on Niki's bed, the Brunet's habit of sleeping on someone else's bed is something they've grown used to. As he gets closer, there's a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest when he sees the pure serenity on Jake's features. Jake always looks so peaceful when he's sleeping, a contrast from his now constantly worried state. Sunghoon wishes he could erase all of Jake's anxiety and distress, but there's only so much that he could do. 

Sighing as he sits on the edge of Niki's bed, Sunghoon finds himself staring at Jake for a moment before reminding himself that he has a duty to do. He leans down, pressing a light kiss on each of Jake's eyelids and mumbles, "Jake." One on the tip of his nose. "Wake." Another on the corner of his lips. "Up."

Beneath him, Jake stirs with a small groan, his eyes opening slowly and blinking at Sunghoon. "Hello there," he greets Jake, lips forming a small smile. Jake doesn't respond with words, his arms coming up to wrap around Sunghoon's neck and pulls him down into a hug, murmuring something that Sunghoon can't understand. They stay in that position for a moment until his back can't take it anymore and he untangles himself from Jake.

"We have a shoot at 1," he informs the other. "Jungwon asked me to wake you up." 

Jake rubs at his eyes and sits up. "Am I the last one to wake up?"

At that, Sunghoon freezes. He forgot that there might be other members in the room, he just saw Jake and went straight to him. What was he thinking? "Uh," he squeaks, turning to scan his surroundings. Sunghoon spots Heeseung sleeping on his own bed, and is relieved to find there's no one else. The eldest sleeps like a log, so he's not worried that he might've overheard, or worse, saw Sunghoon kissing Jake seconds ago. 

"Nope." He motions to Heeseung's direction, and Jake laughs a little. "Go have some breakfast and take a shower, I'm gonna wake Heeseung Hyung up."

"Yes, Mom."

"I'm not your mom."

"You sound like her."

"Does your mom wake you up with kisses, too?"

He can't help but feel delighted when he sees the color red blooming on Jake's cheeks, finding the sight of him getting flustered and rendered speechless impossibly endearing. "What- no, of course!" Jake replies, voice unusually high and he punches Sunghoon's shoulder lightly, a habit he's picked up whenever he teases him. "You weirdo."

Sunghoon brushes Jake's hair back before pressing a kiss on his forehead. "You let this weirdo kiss you all the time, so the joke's on you."

Jake snorts. "Yeah. Maybe."

Ruffling Jake's hair, Sunghoon gets up to move to Heeseung's bed. If he had stayed just a little longer on Niki's bed, he wouldn't have missed the way Jake looks down and purses his lips. 

At first, Sunghoon didn't notice it.

But then it became too obvious that Jake is doing his best to avoid him. Everyone knows that Jake likes to cling to the members and is pretty touchy. Despite being in the hyung line, he loves to be doted on, like a puppy asking for head pats and praises. Everyone also knows that Jake's favorite person to cling to is Sunghoon, but things have changed and Sunghoon's not the only one who noticed it. It started with small things, like Jake staying glued to Niki's side when they were about to go inside the car, picking the corner seat. Or when Jake stuck himself to Heeseung after they've watched a horror movie, the eldest of the group coddling him happily. 

He still lets Sunghoon kiss him, though, and he always returns the favor when they're kissing. But after that, Jake would put a safe distance between them by clinging to other members. 

"Did something happen?" Jay asks him when they're picking their outfits and Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow. "Between you and Jake?"

"I don't know," Sunghoon replies. It's an honest reply, he really doesn't know what's going on with Jake. He doesn't even know what's going on between them. Hell, he doesn't even know why he wants to kiss Jake all the time. So many things to figure out, so little energy and braincells. "Why did you ask?"

"You two are usually all over each other." Jay shrugs, putting back his black leather jacket and opts for a denim one. "You know you can talk to me if something happened, right? Or if something's bothering you?" The Blond turns to look at him, suddenly all serious and Sunghoon pats his back.

"I do," he replies. He considers Jay as a brother, and he's confident enough in their bond and friendship, but how does one tell his brother that one has been kissing their best friend? "Don't worry about it," he says mostly to himself.

One thing you should know about Sunghoon is that he hates assuming things and jumping into conclusions. So of course his solution to the problem at hand is to confront Jake at the first chance he gets. Lady luck seems to be on his side tonight because Jake lost at rock paper and scissor and has to clean up after them, the members patting his back in sympathy at the mountain of dishes and take-outs trash. Dejected, Jake whines and tugs at Sunoo's arm, giving the younger his trusty puppy eyes. "Won't you help me, Sunoo? Please?"

Sunoo is at a loss. The effect of Jake's puppy eyes is starting to get to him, but the irresistible thought of laying on his bed and playing games after a particularly long day of practicing is stopping himself from agreeing. 

"I'll help," Sunghoon pipes up, and he notices the way Jake stiffens ever so slightly, sending a prickle of hurt straight to his heart. 

"As expected from Sunghoon Hyung!" Sunoo exclaims, elated that he doesn't have to do the cleaning. "I'll help by sending you guys lots of energy, okay? If you suddenly feel energized, remember that that's my doing," he adds cheekily before following the other members out of the dining room with a bounce in his steps. 

And that is how Sunghoon and Jake end up doing the dishes together. Jake is in charge of scrubbing the dishes while Sunghoon rinses and puts them on the drying rack. The silence between them is suffocating, and Sunghoon is also confused as to why he can't bring himself to finally talk about it. Is Jake too tired to even talk? Did he choose the wrong time?

After Sunghoon puts the last plate on the drying rack, Jake mutters a small thank you without even looking at the taller, ready to leave and Sunghoon is quick to stop him by catching his wrist in his hold. Jake turns to him, clearly isn't expecting Sunghoon to do that, surprise written all over his face. 

"Can we talk?" He asks, and Jake's eyebrows climb up.

"About?"

"Us. Did I do something wrong? Are you uncomfortable with me?" Sunghoon fires, and Jake laughs nervously while trying to free himself from Sunghoon's hold. He eventually lets go, not wanting to hurt Jake. 

"What do you mean?" Jake says, slowly inching away from Sunghoon. "You didn't and I'm not. We're okay, everything's fine."

He should be relieved to hear those words, but it's really easy to tell when Jake is lying, and at this moment, Jake is definitely not telling the truth, seeing how much he's fidgeting as if talking to Sunghoon is the last thing he wants to be doing right now. 

"You know I don't like it when people lie to me, Jake," Sunghoon says, crowding Jake against the kitchen counter so the shorter can't escape. "Are you really okay with me kissing you? Do you feel pressured? You can reject me, you know. You have every right to do that."

"No, Sunghoon," Jake retorts. "It's not that."

"Then what is it? You'd avoid me like a plague after we kissed, how am I supposed to take that? If you don't want me to kiss you, then all you have to do—"

Without warning, Jake grabs Sunghoon's neck and pulls him down into a searing kiss, mouths moving against each other in an intoxicating way that drives Sunghoon up the wall. Sunghoon immediately melts, the frustration at the pit of his stomach transforming into thousands of butterflies. He places his arm on Jake's waist and tugs the Jake's lower lip with his teeth, asking for access. Jake responds by parting his lips and Sunghoon slides his tongue in easily, burning every sensation to the back of his head so he can always go back and remember this exact moment. The Brunet whimpers, high and breathy and it sends shivers down Sunghoon's spine. When the urge to breathe becomes too much, Sunghoon breaks the kiss, a thin, almost invisible string of saliva connecting their lips. 

He runs his thumb across Jake's bottom lip, marveling at the dark red color, swollen and inviting. Sunghoon moves in to reconnect their lips but Jake whispers, words tinged with blue. "I just don't wanna fall deeper."

Sunghoon is still, trying to comprehend Jake's reply but failing miserably. Upon realizing that the Noiret is probably not going to give him a reaction any time soon, let alone a reply, Jake sighs and leaves Sunghoon alone in the kitchen, the only thing accompanying him is his myriad of unanswered questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, sunghoon, you obtuse child...
> 
> i decided to split the second half into two parts because i don't want it to be too long. yes, i consider 1,7k words to be long. hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

Days have turned bleak for Sunghoon ever since that little incident in the kitchen. Not only that Jake goes out of his way to avoid him, he also jumps whenever Sunghoon touches him, as if his touch burned him. Sunghoon didn’t expect it to hurt this much, but it really does. The ache in his chest grows sharper each time Jake turns his face away or leaves the room when he enters it, almost to the point that it becomes physical. He’d do anything to turn back time, to undo everything if that means he can have Jake again. If he had known the pain would be unbearable, that he would lose his best friend, he’d never even let the thought of kissing Jake cross his mind again. He decides that it’s not worth it, being able to kiss Jake but losing him in the process.

The members, without an ounce of doubt, noticed things getting worse but Sunghoon doesn’t know whether they don’t want to butt in or they thought Sunghoon and Jake would sort it out themselves. It’s not the first time there’s a conflict between them, but it all never lasted for longer than three days.

Jake has been avoiding him for the whole week.

There’s a beep, signaling that someone entered the right password, followed by the sound of their front door swinging open and a “we’re home!”. Jungwon and Jake pop into the living room, carrying bags of fried chicken. Like hyenas drawn to the smell of their next meal, they make their way to Jungwon and Jake one by one.

“There are cheese balls too,” Jungwon chimes. “I bought three boxes.”

“Nice!” Heeseung, clearly excited to dig in, helps Jungwon to get the boxes out of the plastic bag.

Sunghoon extends his arm, silently offering to help Jake but the latter quickly interjects. “I can do it.”

The rejection is as cold and bitter as the harsh wind blowing outside, stunning him for a good second before he finally snaps out of it, busying himself to go to the kitchen to get some glasses for their cola. Once he returns to the living room, most of them are already seated in a circle around the fried chicken boxes, and his eyes immediately catches Jake attaching himself to Jungwon.

He ignores the vicious sting as he sits down next to Ni-ki, feigning nonchalance.

Everything tastes bitter, and if the members sense that something is definitely wrong, they didn’t show it.

“Spit it out,” Jay says to him when they’re alone in their bedroom. Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow, sitting up on his bed even though that Jay is below him and there’s no way the blond can see him.

“What?”

“Just tell me,” he groans, sounding frustrated. “So I can help. For the love of God, it’s affecting the group.”

Sunghoon presses his lips into a thin line. He knows what Jay is talking about, and wonders if the fight between him and Jake does indeed have a negative impact on not only him, but the overall dynamic of their group. They are more careful around Jake and Sunghoon nowadays, some of them even seem like they don’t know how to act around them. Can he even call it a fight? Are they actually fighting right now?

“I don’t know where to start,” Sunghoon admits, his voice small. There’s a sigh, a shuffle, and Jay climbs the stair of their bunk bed. He makes himself comfortable on the stair before he faces Sunghoon.

“From the beginning,” he says.

And Sunghoon tells him everything from the top. Jay listens patiently, and Sunghoon always forgets that Jay has a mature side to him. Probably because he’s always joking around and acting like a fool. He’d let Sunghoon know that he’s still paying attention by humming or saying “I see”, and the judgment that Sunghoon feared would eventually show up, never comes.

“Sunghoon,” Jay says, using his serious voice. He hates to admit it, but it’s intimidating because Jay rarely uses it. It’s almost like when your parents call you by your full name. You know it’d be a heavy talk. “Why do you think you want to kiss Jake?”

That question again. He had pushed it to the back of his head, forgot to even find the answer because millions question about why Jake avoided him have been occupying his mind lately. “I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Because he’s attractive?”

“Do you think I’m attractive?” Jay asks.

“Yes,” Sunghoon answers without hesitation.

“Do you wanna kiss me?”

The thought of kissing Jay is foreign and makes him shudder, not in a good way. He admits that Jay is good looking, but to kiss him? Sunghoon would sit that one out. “No, dude. What the hell? It’d be like kissing my own brother.”

“Then you don’t wanna kiss him because he’s attractive.” Jay rolls his eyes. “Come on, think harder. Why?”

“Because he’s adorable? Like a puppy?” Sunghoon tries. It’s true, Jake resembles and even acts like a puppy sometimes, and Sunghoon has a soft spot for both Jake and dogs.

“Sunoo is also adorable, do you wanna kiss him too?” Jay presses on, and Sunghoon furrows his eyebrows.

“No,” he replies.

“Look, I don’t think it’s why you wanna kiss Jake.” Jay’s voice softens, and so does his gaze. “It’s why you wanna kiss only him, not anyone else.” Jay stops talking to let his words sink in, hoping he can get the message across without actually having to spell it out. Sunghoon looks down to his lap, trying to put the pieces together in his head. “It really is not that hard, Sunghoon.”

“Are you saying,” Sunghoon pauses, worrying his lower lip. “That I’m in love with Jake?”

“Well, are you?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I’m attracted to him, that’s for sure, but love? That’s a strong word, don’t you think?”

When it comes to Jake, Sunghoon thinks, from the very first time he met him, you can’t help but adore him. He’s a ball of energy and he’s fun to be around, though his actions are questionable sometimes. Probably one of the kindest people Sunghoon has ever met, too. Besides his looks, Jake reminds him of himself, in a way. Perhaps that’s why Sunghoon has always been drawn to him like a moth to a fire.

Jay puts his hands together. “How about this. How would you feel if Jake is dating someone?”

Furrowing his eyebrows and not paying attention to the sheer discontent bubbling in his chest, Sunghoon retorts, “As long as he’s happy and that person isn’t hurting him, he can do whatever he wants, I guess, but...”

“But?”

“I think I’d prefer it if I’m the one who makes him happy.”

“Okay.” Jay nods, noting Sunghoon’s answers. “How do you feel now that he’s avoiding you?”

He stays mum for a second. “It’s killing me,” he tells Jay, and he winces when he hears his voice trembles. “It hurts like hell.”

Wordlessly, Jay moves to sit beside Sunghoon on his bed, patting and rubbing circles on his back in hopes to soothe his best friend’s pain. “We all love each other, we really do. But it’s no longer platonic when you wanna kiss him—on the lips, mind you—and wanna be the one who makes him happy.”

The realization that he’s in love with Jake hits him like a sudden splash of cold water, waking him up from the dream he’s been living. Dread fills him as another thing dawned on him. “I messed up, didn’t I?”

“You did, but we are blessed with the ability to communicate.” Jay puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Talk to him. Clear things up. Jungwon and I will find a way to get everyone to go buy something in the convenience store tomorrow night, so use your time wisely.”

“Jungwon knows?”

“Who doesn’t?” The blond snorts. “You two were making heart eyes at each other basically 24/7. It’s a miracle both of you didn’t realize you’re in love with one another right away.”

“Wait, Jake is in love with me?” Sunghoon asks.

Jay stares at him for a few seconds before rubbing his face with his hand slowly. “God, please give me strength.”

“What? I’m serious! How did you figure it out before I did?” Sunghoon grabs his pillow, ready to chuck it to Jay’s face.

“First of all, Jake can’t get through a day without clinging to you. He’d talk about you until someone’s ears fall off if you let him, really,” Jay says. “And you! You treat Jake like he’s the most precious thing on earth. Honestly, I don’t know why we bothered to give you options when we ask you two questions because we all know you’re gonna choose each other in the end. And don’t think that I haven’t seen you watching a video of Jake. I know you have it downloaded on your phone.” He points an accusing finger at Sunghoon.

“Which one?” He asks, but his mind drifts to Jake yet again, wondering how he missed all the signs.

“The one of him saying sorry, wearing overalls and stuff. For I-LAND.”

“Oh,” Sunghoon chuckles. “That one.”

“What do you mean, that one?” Jay’s eyes narrow slowly as he processes the implication behind Sunghoon’s statement. “How many videos of Jake do you have on your phone?”

“I don’t think you need to know.” Sunghoon moves to climb down the bunk bed, leaving Jay stunned, still trying to comprehend Sunghoon’s words.

“What?” Jay flabbergasts. “Hey, Park Sunghoon! How many videos of Jake do you have on your phone, you little rascal?”

Jay keeps his promise by persuading all the members, except Sunghoon and Jake, to go buy some snacks at the nearby convenience store. Jake is in the bathroom, so he uses the chance to lure the rest of them with the promise of sweet ice cream and tasty ramen. “Come on, Sunoo. Mochi ice cream and ramen are perfect for nights like this, right? We practiced for nearly ten hours today,” Jay coaxes as he steers Sunoo away from the bedroom. Heeseung, who’s automatically in at the mention of ramen, is already putting his coat on. “And Ni-ki! We’ll buy bungeoppang on our way home, promise.” He tugs at the youngest’s arm, who is halfway asleep on the couch.

Jungwon, seemingly already in on the plan, helps to get their coats and all Sunghoon can do is watch. He’s been anxious for the whole day, antsy and jittery whenever Jake is in his sight. He has a solid plan, to apologize and to tell Jake how he really feels. That should’ve put him at ease, but it doesn’t. There are thousands of way where it could go south, where he could say the wrong things, and Sunghoon feels like he’s walking on eggshells.

“You’re not coming, Hyung?” Sunoo asks him while he puts on his coat.

Sunghoon shakes his head. “No, I don’t feel like going out.”

“What about Jake Hyung? Should we wait until he finishes showering?” Sunoo says to Jay, and the blond waves his arm as if to dismiss the suggestion.

“Nah, Jake told me he’s going to go straight to sleep today,” Jay says, and Sunghoon can’t tell if it’s a lie or not. “Let’s go, chop chop! The clock is ticking! The store is closing soon!”

“But that convenience store is open 24 hours,” Ni-ki mumbles, but is quickly ushered out of the living room by Jay. In a moment, the rest of the members left the dorm, and Sunghoon is left alone with his thoughts on the living room sofa while he waits for Jake to finish showering, staring into space.

After what felt like hours, the bathroom door finally clicks open, and there’s the sound of footsteps going toward the bedroom. The footsteps then move to the kitchen, until it finally reaches the living room. Jake jumps a little when he sees Sunghoon alone on the sofa.

“Where’s everyone?” Jake stays rooted to his spot. Usually, he’d walk over to Sunghoon and plop down beside him. Sunghoon reminds him that things have changed.

“Out to buy some snacks,” he retorts.

Jake’s eyebrows stitch together and his mouth moves to ask another question, but he clamps it down instead. Before he can leave, Sunghoon calls out. “Can we talk?”

A sigh leaves the Brunet’s lips. “If it’s about that again, I’m telling you, you didn’t do anything wrong. We’re okay.”

“Okay?” Sunghoon scoffs. “You’ve been avoiding me, and don’t— please don’t say you haven’t. Do you really hate me that much that you can’t even say more than a few words to me?”

“I don’t hate you,” Jake declares, looking insulted by the accusation.

“You sure act like you do.”

“I don’t! I’m just...”

The sentence hangs in the air, and Sunghoon stands up. As he walks to where Jake is standing, he notices how Jake takes one step back so he stops where he is, putting an arm’s length distance between them. “Look, I wanna apologize. What I did to you was unfair, both for you and me. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. I’m sorry, Jake.”

“But you didn’t have to apologize! It’s just kissing, and I shouldn’t have— I shouldn’t—“ Jake’s lips quiver, his eyes shining with gathered tears and Sunghoon feels like he’s been stabbed multiple times, the tip of the knife digging deep into his heart when he sees Jake crumbling down in front of his eyes.

He moves to reach out to Jake but the latter backs away. “Jake,” he says. “I just wanna hold you.”

“I can’t let you do that,” Jake says, voice barely above a whisper. “It will hurt.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s nothing for you when it means so much for me.” Tears escape Jake’s eyelids, and Sunghoon’s heart shatters into a million pieces.

“Please,” he pleads, taking a step closer. “Hear me out.” Sunghoon doesn’t care how desperate he sounds, or how things have gone south in the first place because Jake is already crying. All he wants to do is to hold Jake in his arms and soothe him until his tears stop flowing.

Once he sees that Jake is no longer backing away, he takes it as a green light to move closer. Sunghoon cups Jake’s cheeks with both of his hand, thumbs wiping his tears away. “You asked me once why I wanna kiss you, and I answered because I wanted to. I realized that it’s not as simple as that. I’m such a fool for not realizing it sooner.” When he realizes he’s clamming up, Sunghoon takes a deep breath to ground himself before continuing, mustering every ounce of courage within him to push the words out. “I’m in love with you. I have been, for a long time.”

“Lies,” Jake sobs quietly, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks and the pang of hurt attacks Sunghoon like a jab. “You’re lying.”

“I swear to all the Gods above that I’m not,” he tells Jake, the tremble in his voice betrays the immense emotion coursing through his veins. “I love you and I’ll continue to love you in our next life, and the ones after that.”

The press of Jake’s lips against his own is as light as a feather, beads of tears leaving a salty trace. With his hands on each side of the smaller boy’s face, Sunghoon reconnects their lips firmly this time, sealing his promise with a sweet kiss. They break apart seconds later, and Jake whispers, “I love you too, dumbass.”

“Your dumbass,” Sunghoon replies, and Jake breaks into a wide smile.

“My dumbass,” Jake confirms. Sunghoon places a kiss on the tip of his nose and his forehead before pulling Jake into an embrace, resting his chin on top of his head, a tremendous amount of joy bubbling in his chest. The way Jake’s arms wrap around his torso is natural, like they’re always meant to be there. In their living room, the two boys hold each other like nothing else in the world matters, their universes in each other’s palms and their hearts beating as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took longer than expected because assignments have been eating me up... but i hope it’s worth the wait! happy new year, ENGENEs <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading this crappy thing I wrote until the end. ahA. Been thinking about making a series of jakehoon fluffs but my ideas are all meh. Please leave a comment if you have any specific prompt you’d like me to write. <3


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